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I HATE EA...oh well gaming is ruined forever



Earlier this year GTA fans and knowledgeable gamers in general responded to news that EA was looking to takeover Take-Two Interactive with the standard voodoo doll replicas of EA execs and a steady flow of curse words. Luckily, Take-Two turned down the initial offer, saying that the proposed 2 billion dollar deal undervalued both the companies franchises and creative talent. Unfortunately, EA’s offer soon turned hostile, and while Take-Two execs had urged shareholders to “sit tight”, EA showed no sign of giving up. They (EA) had even extended the deadline to accept the deal until April 18th

It now seems that the deal is already done and the hostile takeover is complete. Take-Two shareholders cashed out their stock and EA now controls Take-Two, and the fate of all GTA titles to come.

Check out all the details after the jump!


Like so many others before them, Take-Two, and by extension RockStar, now face a dark future. I’d equate what their feeling right now to that sharp instant of clarity that comes right before you grab a hot pan out of the oven with your bare hands. You know that it’s gonna hurt like hell but it’s too late to stop.

Following in the footsteps of their fallen comrades like Westwood, huge segments of the staff from Take-Two, in particular RockStar North, are abandoning ship faster than rats who just found out the ocean was made of cheese. The loss of such a huge segment of RockStar’s development staff means that, should there be a GTA V, not one single person involved in making the previous titles will be working on it.

EA will have to replace almost every staff member responsible for making the very games that made EA want to purchase Take-Two in the first place. Sorta like they had to with Origin, Westwood and BullFrog.

In a press conference earlier today, former members of RockStar expressed their feelings on the takeover and their plans for the future.

RockStar North’s Development Coordinator, Richard Reed, told reporters that “I did consider staying with the company for a minute, but then I got my first look at the new employment contract. Once I read the sub-clause about EA owning my soul I knew it was time to get the hell outta dodge.”

Steven Tumdum, one of the lead graphic artists for RockStar North, said “if I’m gonna get bent over a table and f***ked, I expect a whole lot more than $26 a share.”

Bobby Divs, another graphic artist, said “f**k this, I’m gonna go make Wii games.”

Sandra Deloi, RockStar’s marketing chief, said “I was outside the studio on my cellphone when I got the news. At that very same moment I heard a kakaaaa from above me. I looked up and the sky was filled with vultures. Who knew EA execs could fly?”

Daniel Jones, RockStar’s chief animator, said “The minute those two suits showed up, I knew it was over. I mean these old guys, who never played a video game in their life, walk into MY office and tell me how things are gonna be from now on. I laughed in their faces, whipped out my junk and pee’d on them right there in my office. Unfortunately it’s kinda hard to aim while your laughing, so I was unable to blind them with my pungent stream of gamer justice. Needless to say, they accepted my resignation.”

EA has so far declined to give any formal statement expressing their feelings about the takeovers success. However, several EA execs have been seen celebrating in their customary fashion ie wiping their asses with 100 dollar bills and then offering them to young game developers in desperate need of funding.

Which is a rather apt analogy for EA’s whole corporate takeover mentality.

“We’ll offer you money to take our s**t.”

Well there you have it, EA owns Take-Two. Hope you all enjoy GTA IV because you’ll never see another GTA title that even comes close.

EA devours Take-Two, says GTA V will be very different | SarcasticGamer.com

man this sucks. so much for the grand theft auto series

Is ea gonna buyout every dam company? o and r.i.p westwood...you did wonders with c&c

I think Da Ill One was on the right track when he said to just not buy anything with an EA logo on it.

Well just how many companies is EA gonna take over? Soon enough they'll be making s***y a** consoles.

Please god, someone edit that before EA gets any ideas.
EA buying companies that make good games is bad enough.
Let's not put the idea into their heads that they can make consoles, too.

sorry i mentioned it i guess i was so mad it kinda slipted out.......

I'm not as concerned for GTA but I'm more concerned in the formation of monopolies and the deterioating quality in the videogame industry as a whole.

*Mouth opens wide*. Why would you think that less people would get "that stuff put in their head"? It's in human nature to do those things and it's not really going to change anytime soon. People don't need GTA to get ideas like that because GTA is just a video game representation of something people have already known.





Oh and by the way guys, read the comments . If you don't, then you'll still be sulking over a false article.