So I was thinking to myself: "Jared, do you REALLY just have to write news articles?"
Of course not! So, I've decided to take a page out of GameInformer's playbook, and come to you with a Top 10 List of things that involve gaming in general, just with a comedic twist to it. So, if you have any ideas for silly top 10 lists that relate to gaming, let me know in the forums or by PM. Don't forget, you can find the
Scribes contact info on the front page in the About Us tab.
So, let us begin!
The Top 10 Most Annoying Game Characters
#10. Pokemon (yes, all of them)
Alright, let's get one thing straight. Characters that can say nothing but there game are not cool. In fact, they're freaking annoying, especially if they're in a high pitched voice. Seriously, what's the point in hearing, "PIKACHU! PIKA PIKA!" "GENNGARRR GENNGARRR!!" I would rather hear the death rattle of my only child then hear the shrieks of 400+ pokemon...Seriously, I don't know how Ash didn't pull out a 12 gauge and show Pikachu what a one hit KO is all about.
#9. Narrator in Castlevania 2 : Simon's Quest
Considered one of the stupidest games ever made, Simon's Quest was surely full of annoying things and stupid ideas. But the STUPIDEST idea is having a text box that types slower then crap appear RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF YOU SLAYING SOME OF DRACULA'S MINIONS! Seriously?!?! This stupid block of text interrupts my gaming session more then my mother! You want to know how annoying this block of text really is?
Behold!
#8. Clapper the Seal (Donkey Kong Country 2)
Thank God you didn't need this guys help that much. A completely useless Animal buddy to begin with, Clapper the Seal was the dude you needed to either cool down water or to freeze water by jumping on his back. He was SO annoying with his stupid little seal sounds. ARR ARR ARR!! ARR ARR ARR!! ARR ARR ARR!! He just WON'T shut up with the whining! Does he REALLY want you to jump on his back THAT bad?! If only Diddy or Dixie could equip clubs, because I would totally back the idea of clubbing the offspring of this moron.
#7. Shipping Dude (Harvest Moon)
This dude isn't too bad...he's just like that friend of yours that interrupts you in the middle of something really important. Every day, no matter what, if you were at your farm near sundown, this guy would ALWAYS interupt you just to tell you he's here for your goods to sell, and that he'll leave you the money in the mailbox tomorrow. I mean...thanks for telling me dude, but I GET IT! I'm a freaking farmer! Just do your job and take my goods, and pay me. Everyone's happy. I know how this operates...no need to remind me everyday! And while I'm at it, the Mayor can shut up and stop reminding me of festivals. I HAVE A CALENDAR!
#6. Tails (Sonic the Hedgehog 2)
The most pointless sidekick ever. All you ever did was leave him in the dust. And when you did eat crap and lose all your rings, he just flutters in on his helicopter tail like he's all cool and pretending to be all innocent giving you that, "Whoa dude, what happened to you?!" look. Fudge that noise. He's a terrible friend, and a terrible sidekick. If I was Sonic, I would have hurled him right at Dr. Robotnik's bomb dispenser.
#5. Fawkes (Fallout 3)
Thank God this guy destroys everything in his path, otherwise I'd waste him like any other Super Mutant. What makes matters worse is that he his armed with the Gatling Laser, which is probably the most ear piercing weapon in the game. Combine that with constant screaming with all words slurred, and the fact that he's ugly as hell...you've got a guy that nobody likes. Oh well, I suppose that's not a bad thing to have in the Wasteland. Still, he needs to learn to stop screaming so much. How do you honestly expect to be stealthy with this big nincompoop? So much for maxing out my sneak skill...oh well. At least you can fire him if you want - or waste him. Your choice really.
#4. Conan (Conan)
I think the guys who made Conan tried to take a play out of Niko Belic's playbook, and make him talk trash whenever he killed someone. Only problem is, Conan sounds like a complete idiot that has no trash talking skills at all. "OH, NOW IM ANGRY!!!" Really? That's all you have, Conan? God...you're such a lame badass.
#3. Brucie (GTA4)
This guy reminds me of my big brother, kinda. The only difference is that my older brother is way skinnier and doesn't do steroids. He's always jacked on his own adrenaline, always working out, always fake punching you, and while any normal person would be standing still or sitting around, he's doing quick excercise routines just to work on his body. Why? "For the *****es, Niko!" Cool dude, but TOTALLY annoying. He always sounds so disappointed when I tell him I don't want to hang out. I prefer the chiller type...like Little Jacob.
#2. Navi the Fairy (The Legend of Zelda : Ocarina of Time)
HEY!!! LISTEN!!! These are the only two words in this stupid fairy would ever say until you hit the freaking c-up button. And if you weren't doing what she told you, she would constantly remind you of it! I HEARD YOU, YOU STUPID LITTLE PIXIE! She is so lucky the game limited me from placing her in a bottle, setting her down on the ground, and just keep trying to hit her with Bombchus over and over again. And if I missed her every time, at least I would have a bottle full of fairy tears to drink and restore my hearts. What was the point of Navi anyways? Of course, she's part of the story since everyone from Kokiri gets their own fairy...but all she serves for in the game is to remind you what you're supposed to be doing. It's called a map and marker system! You don't have to annoy those trying to enjoy the game with constantly screaming HEY!! LISTEN!! at the top of your lungs! Oh well, at least she didn't pull the map out in your face in the middle of trying to longshot over some lava pools.
AND NOW!!! AT NUMBER 1!!! DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!
#1. Slippy Toad (Star Fox 64)
I hate Slippy so much that I actually sat out multiplayer matches if I had to be him. The most annoying wingman of the Star Fox Team, and quite possibly the most mentally impaired. Slippy will fly out in front of enemies, and get absolutely mowed down while screaming at the top of his(her?) lungs. If your arwing is damaged, he always annoys you with his stupid high pitched girlie voice. FOX, ARE YOU OK!?!?! FOXXXXX!!! NOOOO!!!
Ugh...Every time I had the chance, I would shoot Slippy's ship as much as I could just so I wouldn't have to put up with his bullcrap and his woman like vocal cords. And afterwards, the remaining members of Star Fox would salvage the wreckage and collect his body...only to cut off his legs and have him as an appetizer for the Thank You Star Fox Ceremony...in honor of him, ironically.
Leave it to Nintendo to create one of the most annoying characters in gaming history.
Jokes. I've got em.
Reizo_WS died. Delete him.
I'm seriously thinking about that petition.
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