|10-17-2008, 11:05 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Top 30 Bad Guys From Super Mario Brothers
Top 30 Bad Guys From Super Mario Brothers |
No game in history has left a cadre of memorable bad guys like the Mario Bros games have. Other’s have tried, but nobody else has taken a the dreams of an acid riddled hippie and turned them into lush landscapes full of monsters, floating blocks, pits to infinity, and poor plumbing like Nintendo has. Mario has been the flagship of this company since the early eighties and rightfully so. In this list we name the top 30 bad guys from the Mario brother series.
The Ninjis made their first appearance in Super Mario 2. It was assumed that they were minions of Wart, subsequent games, however, taught us two lessons; first the ninjis would work for Bowser, which means must have been some sort of mercenaries, and second that they had some strange ability to cross between the dream world and the real world. That makes them more powerful than Freddie Crougger in my book. I would also imagine that they had tons of training, the title ninji was most likely not given out to anybody. You probably had to be shaped like a star previously as well. I think it would be difficult to have to mold yourself into one afterwards. An office poll shows that these guys have the same coolness that Boba Fett had before Lucas ruined Star Wars. They are just rare enough that it give them a mystique of awesome. Thank God Lucas doesn’t run Nintendo.
29. Shy Guys
The shy guys are an odd bunch. They also made their first appearance in Mario 2 as agents of Wart, though like the ninjis they apparently were able to leave Subcon as they appeared in subsequent games. Much like the koopa troopas they came in a variety of colors and abilities. Some would walk off cliffs to their death, while others had the good sense to turn around. They never seemed all that shy as they would head right toward which ever character you would happen to be playing at the time. Like most of the enemies in Subcon they were easily dealt with and could be used as a weapon against each other. A rather humiliating experience I would imagine.
28. Pirhana Plant
You have to give Bowser credit for these nasty little plants. Both of us at OW have owned a venus fly trap at one point or another and we all have similar stories of failure. No matter what you did they always died. Bowser on the other hand had one growing in practically every pipe in the entire game. We don’t know what he did but I would love to find out. They also came in a couple of different flavors; the timid green ones, the fearless red ones, fire breathing versions, some that walked and spit spiked balls, some that jumped, and some that flew. Mario had to think twice before jumping down a pipe because most likely a hungry pirhana plant was waiting for him.
27. Boss Bass
Boss Bass was found in Mario 3 in the third water world. He was annoying not just because he could eat you alive, but because every time you killed him, he came back. This eternal recurrence ability made him one of the more powerful enemies in all of Mario 3. Shells and fireballs could destroy him, but he would be back in a second waiting for a platform to lower so he could eat you alive. Spending entire levels trying to avoid this ******* proved to be one of the most controller-breaking moments in Mario 3. Give me the whistle. I don’t want to have to face this fish over and over.
Triclyde was a boss in Mario 2, and one of the most difficult at that. He was much more difficult than Wart who could be beaten with mere vegetables. This three headed snake inhabited Mario’s land of dreams, spewing the most powerful fireballs in the game at him. If you knew how to skip levels by finding warp zones you wouldn’t have to face him. If you didn’t though, you would be facing a boss as difficult as Ridely from Metroid. Triclyde was the most nefarious looking boss in all of Mario 2, and for good reason when experiencing how hard he was.
25. Ludwig Von Koopa
The eldest of the Koopa kids, Ludwig von Koopa was the king of Pipe World in Mario 3. One wonders why he had a different last name than the other Kooplings, but no matter, he was one of the most difficult final bosses to face on the conspicuous airships at the end of each level. He was quick, and he threw out his wand smoke rings faster than most other kooplings and just looked freaking mad. A little known fast about Ludwig was that he was also a composer. What kind of music did Ludwig compose? With his first name you could probably infer that he tried to make classical pieces like Beethoven, but we never hear. Maybe he created the whole soundtrack of Mario 3. Maybe this was his greatest legacy.
24. Rocky Wrench
This devious demon was first introduced to the gaming population in Super Mario Brother 3. These characters are some seriously sneaky bad guys, with an orange furry coat and black shells, sporting the ability to burrow inside objects and pop up when ready to attack. Their primary target being Mario or Luigi, these menacing little maniacs armed themselves with an unlimited supply of shiny heavyweight wrenches. Tossing them through the air, the wrench would keep an impeccable straight line towards Mario’s face, disobeying all laws of gravity and air resistance. Not only were these wrenches shiny and sneaky, they were doubled up and spinning at a high velocity, for an extra hard hit. Found in the wooden airships or tanks, these mole-like enemies would pop up, lid still balancing on their head, throw their evil wrenches and pop back into their hole quite quickly. Jumping on these enemies’ heads the split second before they burrowed back down to safety is an especially fulfilling action. Watching them fall down below the airship or tank off the screen is just icing on the cake.
23. Boomerang Brothers
Its obvious that these guys are Australian. Nobody can handle a boomerang like the Aussies. It also means that they are the descendants of criminals the British government not only wanted removed from society, but actually did remove from the country. That being said these dudes must be bad ass. We first met them in Super Mario 3 when Bowser must have conscripted Aussie turtles to supplement his otherwise vast army. Sadly they weren’t all that tough. They used boomerangs that were comically too big and also too slow. I would have used small fast ones, that way Mario wouldn’t see what’s coming. Then again the Aussies aren’t know for being the smartest bunch, let alone the Aussie turtles.
What needs to be said about a larger than life mouse with a bomb fetish who feels the need to wear gloves, glasses, and boots, but no undergarments? This lovable bomb throwing rodent was introduced to the public in Super Mario 2 as a Stage Boss standing in the way of Mario as he attempts take Subcon by storm. While his attempt to blow Mario to bits usually ended with Mouser being blasted by his own bombs, his grasp on our memory still emains intact. Mouser was also a regular on the Super Mario Brothers Super Show acting out as King Koopa’s second in command. The show gave him a bit more personality, having him speak with a German accent and plaingy dress up with the Koopa Klan, depending on which “Mushroom Kingdom World” they happened to be in. So to all you fans of Crazy Naked German Bombers, this is the character for you!
21. Buzzy Beetle
Buzzy Beetle. The name is synonymous with “fire-proof”. Every gamer knows that the only difference between Buzzy Beetle and a regular Koopa Troopa is that Buzzy can’t be taken out by fireballs. One wonders what the logic was behind making beetles impervious to fireballs, while turtles and mushroom men weren’t. Granted its not like these guys really look like any beetles I’ve ever seen anyway, but they sure were tough once you got them spinning.
|10-17-2008, 11:06 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Sorry for the double and triple posts.
20. Hammer Brothers
Ah, the hammer brothers. Turtle-men carpenter brothers who jumped back and forth between multi-tiered floating brick platforms, lobbing hammers into space until you scrolled into them. This is a concept only Nintendo could have come up with. These guys were the hardest enemies in Mario 1, and didn’t get much easier in Mario 3 and Mario world. With their limitless supply of hammers, and their knack for waiting for you in the most inconvenient of locations (like world 8-3 and also near the end of Bowser’s castle in world 8 ) these guys were a perennial pain in the ass. Just be thankful we got a break from them in Mario 2.
19. Cheap Cheaps
Spending habits aside, these fish were really more of annoyance than anything else. It is unclear whether they have any allegiance to Bowser, but they definitely have no love for Mario. They never seem to attack Mario directly but will often jump out of the water at inopportune times or be swimming right in the way of an important path. They were easily killed with a shell or fire flower, though how a fire flower works underwater is hotly debated here at OWHQ. All in all they are an iconic Mario bad guy.
18. Bullet Bill
I’ll bet that the department of defense has been researching these bad boys for years. A bullet that is smart enough to know when to fire, can have Mario seeking capabilities, and is willing to sacrifice itself with no notice. Bullet Bill was one of the kamikaze weapons in Bower’s army. They resided in cannons which were usually placed at a strategically annoying place. But while they excelled in intelligence they lacked in speed, at least relative to most bullets I know of. This allowed Mario to jump on them and thus make them far less efficient than say, a gatling gun.
Birdo is one of the few female bad guys in the Mario. She may look sweet on first appearance but boy is she a b**** upon later stages in Mario 2. You always have to face her at the end of each the first two stages of every world (except world seven). Later in the game she gains the power to spew fire balls at you and is enclosed in corners that are incredibly difficult to maneuver around. Having to fight her enough times makes you sick of her. How ironic it was that her own eggs would be her own demise throughout Mario 2.
We meet the infamous Wart at the end of Mario 2. This playful game had an even more playful ending where you had to fight a Bowser looking boss by throwing vegetables at him. Who thought of this idea? How could a massive amphibian (or reptile) be taken down by a couple of carrots and broccoli? For better or worse, he was an easy boss, but he was also a sight to be seen for the 8-bit era. He was a monster who looked as kingly in his weight as he did with his glorious crown on his head. It is one of the ultimate mysteries of video games how a beast like this could be defeated with mere vegetables.
Was there ever a more annoying character in the Mario series than bloopers? You would never know which way they would go in the water. There random movements in the water levels were some of the most difficult and annoying parts to pass in Mario 1. They saw there re-emergence in the other Mario’s after Mario 2 and were just as nagging to pass by as Mario 1. They may look innocent and innocuous, but they get in the way better than almost any other enemies in all of Mario-dom.
14. Boo Buddy
In many of the castles and ghost houses in the Mario sagas, you find the Boo Buddies trying to sniff you out right when you’re not looking. These frightening ghosts would ironically be easy to frighten by just turning and looking at them. You always had to be aware of them though or they would come to close to you to maneuver around to another part of the level. Like bloopers, if not taken heed off, they could become annoying when trying to pass a castle. They are called Boo Buddies, but who are they buddies of? Obviously not Mario. We may never know the actual answer to this question.
It has been said that whirlwinds can cause it to rain frogs down from the sky. Unlike the frogs, Lakitu is the cause of the Spiny rain storms you get pelted with in Super Mario Brothers. This lovable pain in th ass, flight goggle sporting turtle that floats around in a smiley faced cloud has a bad habbit of tossing dangerous objects down on the heads of our mushroom eating plumbers. Feeling guilty for causing so many troubles in the original Mario Brothers, he becomes a helping hand in Mario Kart when you racers go out of bounds… sure he takes some coins, but at least you can still race. In later Mario Karts, he decides to become a camera opperator allowing close up views and replays of exicting races. His most recent jaunt in the Mushroom Kingdom was in the New Super Mario Brothers (Nintendo DS) as a Thunder-Throwing Boss (no.. not lightening) of the 7th stage and decided to change his name to the more angry sounding Lakithunder… Thor is going to be pissed.
These explosive little devils first made their appearance in Mario 2, but were in most of the Mario games there after. It is unclear if they are living or mechanical, but either way they walked for a bit and then blew. They weren’t the most effective bad guy ever, seeing as though they could easily be turned on the enemy and used to blow up anything in sight. Though in large numbers they could become relatively annoying. Especially in the tank levels of Mario three when a million of them would be walking around at once.
11. Wendy O. Koopa
Wendy Koopa was one of Bowser’s seven children in Mario Brother 3. She took over the water world, which was one of the most difficult worlds in all of the Mario saga. Having to trek your way through the water world (if you were too out of the loop to know where the whistles were, or just wanted to become a Mario expert) and then fight her was a task. She was sassy and had the strength of all her brothers. She walks in high heels and uses her scepter with the grace of an ancient wizard. Don’t underestimate her by her modern aesthetic. She could dominate you.
|10-17-2008, 11:11 PM||#3 (permalink)|
10. Dry Bone
Dry bones were one of the most underrated Mario villains. They were practically invincible, immune to fire and being stomped on, though they could be destroyed by the hammer suit or the likes. I always wondered why Bowser didn’t get more of these guys to help take on Mario and his compatriots since they can laugh at two of their man attacks. I even imagine that they are more angry at Mario then the average Koopa Troopa since they were probably killed by Mario in the first place. Which brings up another point, shouldn’t there be way more these guys anyway? Think of the number of Koopas Mario has stomped through in the past.
Thwomps are by far the most tragic of all the Mario baddies. They spend their entire existence in a dark castle unable to move unless Mario walks past him, with the only goal of squishing him as he runs by. They usually only get one try and then the castle is destroyed. What’s worse is that they look really constipated as they do it. But one could imagine that not having a bathroom break, or even a bathroom, it would tend to build. Nonetheless you always got a certain satisfaction after beating them and watching as they made faces and knowing that they have now lived an entirely meaningless existence.
8. The Sun
Remember this badass? The most nefarious sun in the video game medium came from Mario 3. This angry sun would swoop down at you after circling the sky for a couple of seconds. This sun made the gamer tense in a way that he never knew before for a Mario game. The Sun would never go away. He would spend an entire level getting in your way and making you perform extraordinary jumps to avoid him. These are the levels you would just want to run by as fast as possible rather than staying in one place with this heated sun.
7. Boom Boom
Boom Boom was the boss you would always have the fact at the end of a mini Fortress in Mario 3. Some gamers found him easy, others found him hard. If you didn’t know how to approach him, he could be evasive and difficult to jump on with his flying power. If you knew to blitzkrieg and attack quick though, he would be done in a matter of seconds. Three jumps on the head and he was done. Just jump on him right after the first jump and he wouldn’t move. Give him room to fly though and you would be dashing back and forth on the screen confused on how to defeat this boss.
6. Lemmy Koopa
Lemmy looked like he was a 80’s punk rock reject turned circus clown. He sported a multi-color mohawk, and in his first appearance he rolled around on a large ball from the command room of his airship. In dinosaur land he seemed to tone down the hair style, though he still rocked a white mohawk. In either case he wasn’t easiest boss but he wasn’t the hardest either. As small children both members of the Old-Wizard crew would run around pretending to be Lemmy and Iggy. For some reason we thought they were the coolest of the kooplings.
Spiny is one of the most famous characters in the Mario series. He appeared in most of the games and would not be easily defeated. You couldn’t jump on him because of his spiked back. You were left to fireballs and star power to be able to take out this slow but powerful enemy. Spiny had a great knack for getting in the way of Mario. Just when you thought you were making an progress jumping from block to block, there would be spiny walking slowly toward you which would take you down a size because of Mario’s inability to jump on him. Spiny’s legacy was this perfectly annoying quality about him.
What were the Podoboos? They were the neutral faced fireballs emerging from lava in most of the Mario brothers games. Was there ever an object you had to evade more often than these fireballs? These balls of lava would all appear in castle levels when you were trying to make a difficult jump. Sometimes they would be coupled together and jump at opposite times making your jumps dependent on precise controlling. Podoboo would never leave the Mario series because Mario always needed castles to conquer. Anyone and everyone who has played a video game has come across these simple but irritating lava balls.
Oh your first time. Everyone remembers it. Such mental oddities as what the weather was like, or what time of the day it is stick in your brain to help recall the situation. Many of us were there with Mario for his first time. The first time in Level 1 -1 that his eyes gazed upon his target. Mario knew what had to be done. Hit that ****…into the ground! Poor old Goomba was the first lowly enemy that Mario ever had the chance to pounce on in his quest for glory and the sweet deliciousness that was the Princess. But those of you rooting for the Goomba don’t despair. For, there are hundreds of their kind. Perhaps even millions. They spawn with ease from the bowels of the Mushroom Kingdom as they give allegiance to Bowser and must live in shame for doing so.
These brown little turds once lived in peace. But the usual story of evil in paradise prevailed and they are forced to waddle around with bushy eye brows and a serious case of slack jaw. Their fangs are menacing and they walk without fear straight into Mario, Luigi, and sometimes even Yoshi for that matter. The Goombas are crafty creatures though. They adapt to their surroundings as need be. For example, their inbred brother the “Paragoomba” has the ability to fly in rather arbitrary arches of motion trying the thwart our hero from his mission. The “Mini-goombas” are also a particularly little nasty breed of turd with legs. They latch on like leeches to Mario in order to try and slow his jumps. Although they can be shaken off, the Mini-goombas are still annoying and deserve to be smeared under a shoe.
The Goomba’s main source of aggression most likely stems from their Napoleon Complex towards everyone else in the realm of Mario, and the fact that they just get tooled on by the protagonists at all times. But you do have to feel bad for the little SOBs. The G-men are just the foot soldiers. They are the ones that are killed in such merciless ways that their very existence is thrown from the memory train with haste as the next enemy appears on the screen. So give the little buggers a break. Bowser is going to make you go through as many of these guys as he can before meeting him in final battle. And the path shall be stained with their grotesquely smelling mushroom bodies.
2. Koopa Troopas
Being the lowest in the chain of command must be tough. Especially if it is in the Koopa Army and your Commander is Bowser himself. The Koopa Troopas don’t have it easy. Not by a long shot. Let’s be brutally honest here, the Koopas are pretty dumb. They can be observed most of the time just walking back and forth, having been stuck in some sort of trench. Sometimes they even just wander off the screen and fall into the bottomless pits that so often are the takers of extra lives for Mario, and also the final resting place for their lemming-esque kind.
Like the Goombas, there are “Paratroopas” that float around in a lax circle of territory in order to stand guard of the levels that Mario must traverse. They also fall to the ground on their first pounce, and are forced into their shell on the second pounce. I make this distinction because the “Koopa in his shell” phase of their meaningless life is of the utmost important to Mario and his comrades. The importance of course being that their shells serve as the first Mario propelled projectile that can be used with striking force and precision to annihilate targets. The sound is terribly crashing. A plunk. Both the “Koopa in shell” and the target are vanquished and sent to the netherworld off screen. This weapon is one of the most primitive, yet powerful tools in Mario’s arsenal. And it is all thanks to the pea-brained turtle like creature that is the Koopa Troopa.
It is important to note the different colors of the Koopa Troopa. The colors are dependant on the version of Mario you are playing. Their predominant shells are green, red, blue and yellow in color. The green being the most inferior, with the red following in a close second (only because the red stop and turn around at fall off points in the level). But all in all the Koopas serve the purpose of dying for a cause. That purpose and cause are that their armored shells were supposed to protect them from danger and prolong their meaningless lives. However, Mario would rather use their defense systems as his offensive systems, and wreak havoc on Bowser with the armor of his infantry.
Why is Bowser number one? Well its not just because he’s the leader of a strange tribe of turtles. Its not because he’s big and mean. Its not because he can breathe fire, or survive countless falls into lava. No, no its not for any of these reasons. Its that never say die attitude. So what if you have the advantage of an entire army of turtles, a family of evil children, a massive fleet of airships, an enormous castle, and the ability to conquer the mushroom kingdom over and over and over again, and still, despite all this a couple of plumbers trounce you every single time. Its the fact that after every one of these humiliating defeats, he gets up, dusts himself off, and starts with a new plan. Thats the American spirit for you.
Who cares if Mario broke all of your bridges, you can build airships, oh… he destroyed all those… Well let’s build a clown copter and take over the dinosaur kingdom… oh he smashed that too? Well let’s steal some paintings and stick people in there… oh that didn’t work either? Well let’s take it too space! Bowser has been at it so long even he forgot why he’s doing it. Here is a guy who not only wrote the book on kidnapping princesses, but also on recovering from failure. Time and time again his best laid plans were thrown back in his face, and time and time again he went back to the drawing board. Never once did it cross his mind that kidnapping Princess Toadstool is bad idea. In fact Bowser knows its a good idea, he just hasn’t done it yet. But when he does we’ll know about it and Princess Toadstool will never be seen again. When he finally retires he’s going to write one hell of a memoir. Imagine the charismatic character he must have been to keep his minions loyal. I doubt any modern army would stay loyal after the number of defeats Bowser’s had. Ladies and gentlemen we submit to you that the King of the Koopas is the greatest bad guy in any Mario brothers game.
|10-18-2008, 02:33 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hickory, NC
Yeah we all know Bowser would be number one here. A few of the bad guys that stand out for me are the koopa kids from super mario 3. The two I hated the most where Lemmy Koopa and Wendy Koopa. I always seemed to have trouble with those two when I was young
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